Spirituality is....Eschewing Obfuscation

Detective Spooner: So, Dr. Calvin, what exactly do you do around here?
Dr. Calvin: I specialize in hardware-to-wetware interfaces in an effort to advance U.S.R.'s robotic ahthropomorphization program.
Detective Spooner: So, what exactly do you do around here?
Dr. Calvin: I make the robots seem more human.
Detective Spooner: Now wasn't that easier to say?
Dr. Calvin: Not really. No.
                                  Dialogue from the film "I-Robot"

One of my favorite T-shirts in a catalog for writers I receive says, "Eschew Obfuscation".  Its a funny way of illustrating that saying something simply is better than puffing it up with big words that don't matter, or hiding the truth behind a bunch of complex nonsense.  Or as my Mamaw would say, "Don't take the long way 'round the barn."

We got a very good look at obfuscation this week when Congressman Jon Kyl said 90% of what Planned Parenthood does are abortions. Confronted with the fact that was completely incorrect (its more like 3%) his office released the following statement, "His remark was not intended to be a factual statement,...".  What?  I don't know where he grew up - but where I grew up, "Not intending to give a factual statement" means - you're telling a lie and you know it.

Why do people "obfuscate"?  Lots of reasons.  It limits confrontation because people are too confused to know how to argue, it is supposed to make the speaker appear more intelligent or the idea more complicated than it really is, or it just (supposedly) makes things seem more valuable. Whatever the reason, the basic cause is the same:  need.   People who make things harder than they have to be or hide behind complex language and murky ideas have some need - the need to be admired, the need for validation, the need for authority, the need to pass the blame.

Spirituality is the opposite of this practice.  Spirituality is not need based - it is abundance based. Spirituality is the part of us that recognizes that God meets our needs, and our relationships with others are to be based on security and love, not fear and manipulation.  Spiritual people don't require larger words than necessary, or decide to place truth outside of the realm common people can understand. Jesus addresses this understanding in his famous teaching about prayer.

"When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
This is how you should pray:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one."
Matthew 6:6-13

When you look at verse 6 in the King James Version it reads, "Go into your closet and pray." The first time I encountered that my immediate thought was, "Jesus has obviously never seen my closet!"
My closet is full of unplayed games, dirty gym socks that managed to evade the laundry basket, boxed Christmas decorations, photo albums and clothes so old I couldn’t fit into them with a crowbar. I don’t have time to clean my closet, let alone pray in it.

Maybe I should pray to be neater...

What Jesus is saying, of course, is that prayers aren't for public approval or affirming self-righteousness - they are a time of communion between you and your creator and deserve respect, focus and honesty.  The sample prayer Jesus uses as a teaching tool has been studied and recited for centuries. However - in learning about it - some good old obfuscation has appeared.

When trying to give us better understanding of it most preachers and teachers use the acronym ACTS.

Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication

The problem with the ACTS model is the words. They are big fifty-cent words. Stained glass words. Words from an air-conditioned, padded-pew, everyone-in-a-dress church setting. But what about the everyday? What about the day you are standing by the side of the road waiting for a tow truck to haul your car back to the garage that was supposed to have fixed it correctly the first time? Is "Adoration" really the word you are thinking as the sun beats down on you? Probably not. While you are silently asking God to help the tow truck arrive before a psycho-killer notices your predicament, would you call that your supplication? It’s doubtful.
Maybe there are some better words:

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,"

KNOW - Know that the creator of the universe is holy, and loves you.

"your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

REMEMBER - Remember that God is in charge and has desires for what happens on earth that it should become more heavenly.

"Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."

ACCEPT - Accept and Acknowledge what God gives to you.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."

ASK - Ask for God’s help, guidance and assurance.

Know, Remember, Accept, Ask: Everyday words for an all-day-long God. This model probably won’t become very popular because it doesn’t spell anything catchy. That’s okay, because when you are standing on the freeway choking down the dust as the tow truck pulls up and you feel the cool breeze of blessed relief, those are the words you’ll be thinking about.

The first hallmark of spirituality is its honesty.  No matter where or how you spend time in communion with God - be clear, sincere and open.  Spirituality doesn't have to "sound good" - it simply has to seek what is good.

Spirituality is...Restless

“A few seconds are long enough for a revolutionary idea, a startling communication, a baby’s conception, a wounding insult, or a sudden death. Depending on how we think of them our lives can be infinitely long or ultimately short.”

                           Robert Grudin – Time and the Art of Living 

Our relationship with time has changed since humans first started measuring days with the movement of the sun. We used to use time to mark our lives. Now we live in such a way as to fulfill the requirements of time. We have forgotten time was meant to serve us, and now time has become the master. Aware that time is pushing us around, we tend to push back. 

Think about it.  How many times have you:

•  Stood in front of a microwave oven and said “Hurry?”
•  Refused to see a movie in the theater because it was three hours long?
•  Left a restaurant because there would be a 30 minute wait (only to spend 20 minutes driving in a car to another one?) 
•  Complained because a website took more than five seconds to upload?

Our perspective of time is skewed in favor of the fast, the convenient, and the instantly accessible. It’s indicative or our general feeling of cultural and spiritual restlessness.

This desire for time to speed by and for the things around us to “hurry up” makes the waiting place even more unbearable. Like school children who have stacked our books on top of our desk and slung our backpack over our shoulder, we watch the big hand of the clock inch s-l-o-w-l-y forward, tapping our foot impatiently. We are ready for the next adventure.  Why are we waiting?  We echo the same sentiment as David in the Bible, “How long, Oh Lord?”

David, the anointed King of Israel, spent more time in the waiting place than most people. He didn’t just sit around. For a time he was serving King Saul and learning how to lead an Army, and then he spent some time in caves hiding for his life. He made friends, got married, won battles, and prayed, prayed, prayed. Yet, again and again his prayers increasingly reflected his restlessness to be King.

Hear his words in Psalm 13

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?

       How long will you hide your face from me?

 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

       and every day have sorrow in my heart?

       How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

       Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

       and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

                                                Psalm 13:1-4

We’ve been taught to think of the psalms as song, but they really were prayers that happened to be sung.  In this prayer we see David exasperated and exaggerating.  He sounds like a teenager who’s been grounded for a week begging to be let out early.

How long?

Is it going to be FOREVER?

How long are you going to hide from me?

I’m bored! I’m depressed!

This waiting is killing me!

Let me out or I will die!

All my friends, and even my enemies, are laughing at me.

Sound familiar?  It’s the song of our prayers as we wait for our circumstances to change. It’s the cry of our heart when we are waiting for the pain to stop, or the healing to begin. It’s the hope we send up when we need a job. It’s the complaint we grumble when the lab results won’t be back for a week. It is our restlessness showing we are ready to leave the waiting place.

How can you tell the difference between when God is asking you to wait, and when God has said the time for waiting is over?  The restlessness is usually a good clue. We get restless when it is time for us to make a change in our life. Suddenly, the same things we have done no longer feel good, or right. We spend more time looking out the window or down the track than taking stock of where we’ve come from and what we have. We are gathering our books. We are ready.

I’ve always advised people that the best time to consider quitting your job isn’t when you’ve had a terrible day at work and you realize you don’t like what you’re doing. The best time is when you have a great day at work, and everything goes right, but you still don’t like what you’re doing.  That’s when it’s time to prepare for a change. 

Restless energy is a great tool for spiritual revival. Take all that passion that is building for change and channel it into learning about God, being with God, and preparing to step away from the waiting place into the path that is waiting. What does David end his prayer with?

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love;

       my heart rejoices in your salvation.

 6 I will sing to the LORD,

       for he has been good to me.

                                    Psalm 13:5-6

David uses his time to trust God, and enjoy the fact that he knows God is with him even when it doesn’t always feel that way. David sings and remembers the good times, and good things God has done.

When you are in that place of reconnecting with God and going through a transition of life or love, use some of that time to reflect on the places you and God have been, and the places you and God are yet to go. Remember good times. Remember God’s love. Get ready to feel that love time and time again.

Out of the Depths: Dealing with Guilt

Lectionary Reading: Psalm 130

For centuries in the season of Lent, early Christians recited the “7 Penitential Psalms” – each Psalm picked by ancient monks because of the display of guilt, the call for hope, and the expectation of rescue from sins, enemies, and situations. The 7 Penitential Psalms are:

Psalm 6 – A prayer in times of sorrow
Psalm 32 – A prayer to celebrate forgiveness
Psalm 38 – A prayer to recognize God’s anger
Psalm 51 – A prayer of confession
Psalm 102 – A prayer in the presence of enemies
Psalm 130 – A prayer in time of trouble
Psalm 143 – A prayer for rescue

Of these seven, the one that the lectionary picks for this Sunday in Lent is Psalm 130 – This psalm not only resonates with the Psalmist’s deep faith in God, but shows a map to deal with that hobgoblin of spirit and truth – Guilt

What HIV is to the blood, guilt is to the Spirit of God within us. Guilt eats away at us, sometimes invisible on the surface, and other times creating reactions that show through all of our attempts to conceal them, creating havoc and destruction in its wake. It comes into our life through various ways – the well meaning, accidental lessons of parents to children they want to behave, the lines drawn across our life paths from teachers, preachers, mentors and friends, and the internalized “shoulds” we get from myths, media and messages around us.

It’s not very hard to know how we get it. The question is, how do we get rid of it? Lent isn’t just about recognizing and repenting – it’s also about recovering and relationship.

Rabbi Naomi Levy (one of the first female Conservative Rabbi’s in the US) wrote a book of prayers to help people deal with the real life recovery and relational situations titled “Talking to God”. There are prayers for young parents worried about the future, young women looking for love, and blessings for weddings, funerals and coming of age. There are also prayers you won’t find anywhere else – a prayer for a woman who has had an abortion, a prayer for a man going through divorce, a prayer for parents of children with special needs, a prayer for a survivor of personal trauma, and a prayer for a spouse who has had an affair, a prayer for someone dealing with vanity. I have used these prayers and many more countless times in ministry and care and witnessed their power.

Her prayer about guilt resonates with everything that is wrong about guilt. Guilt usually isn’t based on what we have done or what we are responsible for doing. More often than not guilt eats away at us for things we imagine we should have done differently, better, or impossibly. Guilt isn’t based on our sinful realities (that’s consequence). Guilt is based on our imagined deficiencies. Yet even as we read her prayer, we know it’s a cry from deep within our souls.

A Prayer to Subdue Guilt

“I’ve been blaming myself, God, for the tragedy that has befallen me. The thoughts keep running through my mind. I could have done more. I should have done more. But none of my self doubt is helping to erase the past. Teach me, God, to believe I do not deserve to be punished forever. Help me to forgive myself. Help me to love myself as you see me, despite my weakness. Show me your love, today and always. Amen.”

Talking to God, page 154.

Much in the same way as the liberating prayer helps us identify and reckon with the guilt in our life – Psalm 130 shows the three tools we can use to get through it and heal from it.

Call Out

“Out of the depths, I cry to you O Lord” – The psalmist calls out to God from that place where guilt has taken him. The bible is full of people who call out to God from the depths: Jeremiah from the depths of a dungeon, Daniel from the depths of a lion’s den, Paul from the depths of prison, and Christ from the depths of agony on the cross. It is the first step to release and repentance. Calling out to God about the things we hold deep within us.

We all carry the secret self in our hearts. Counselors typically call it the “If persona” as in: “Oh sure, they like me – but IF they only knew what I was really like – they’d turn away” or “My boss keeps promoting me, but IF he only knew how little I know, he’d fire me” or “People say I’m strong, but IF they only knew what I did (or didn’t do) they would see how weak I really am.”

The way to begin to work with God to heal is to admit to God (and sometimes to others – after all, a psalm isn’t a diary – people heard these songs out loud!) that “If person” is in us, and needs to be set free. Call out from your depths, and examine the ideas churning guilt like an underground spring in your soul.

Perspective

“If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand?” – The psalmist begins to recognize the problem isn’t that God doesn’t forgive him. God keeps no records of our atoned wrongs. Like a loving parent who remembers our childhood from a collection of refrigerator pictures and mother’s day gifts, instead of every misspoken word or disobedient rally we had as teens, God remembers us not by the list of sins we’ve committed but the love and reconciliation we have made together.

This perspective helps us let go of useless guilt – the “I should have known”, “I could have done things differently”, “I would have given…” phrases that keep us up at night. When we surrender to God’s forgiveness, we can be free to forgive ourselves too. Because, if God forgives us – who are we to hold on?

Expectation

“My soul waits for the Lord and in his word I put my hope” – the psalmist recognizes healing and deliverance take time. He doesn’t just cry out, feel forgiven and go on with his day blessed and happy. Although our guilt has been relieved immediately by God’s love repairing the damage already done will take more than a minute. Yet, even as he waits not just “feel better” but to “be better” the psalmist knows it is going to happen. Want to know the best tool in your box for releasing needless guilt? Hope.

When we cry out and understand that our God is the God of hope not the impossible “should haves”, we may have to review and release a few times before our minds, bodies, souls and circumstances are actually willing to let go. Yet even then – when regrets threaten to mount – we have the hope that knows God’s love, God’s future, God’s power will get us through this and we will be free.

Never give up calling out. Never give up tools, and perspectives. Never, never, never give up on God.

A Prayer When We Are Too Hard On Ourselves

“Teach me how to love, God. I am so critical of myself. I set such high standards for myself. I accept shortcomings in others, but I am so unforgiving of myself. Help me, God. Teach me how to enjoy my life. Remind me to be kind to myself. Show me how to embrace the person that I am. Soften my heart, God; open my eyes. Fill me with the capacity to treasure my life. Thank you, God, for creating me. Amen.”

Talking to God, p 235.

Amen, and Amen.