Spirituality is...a Gentle Referee

 

"It's a one time thing. It just happens a lot."

   Cracking by Suzanne Vega.

 This Saturday I had the joy of offering the devotional at Upward Basketball. The games were held between teams such as the Leopards, the Minnows, the Pumas and the Polar Bears and the athletes were all in Kindergarten or First Grade. I remarked to a friend later that watching these games was not unlike watching kittens in uniforms play with giant orange balls of yarn.   Three of my favorite moments:

1. A little boy practicing shooting lost control of the ball. It hit a chair, bounced up and smacked him right in the face, knocking him over. With a huge smile he stood up, giggled, and said, "Thank you, Chair!" as he grabbed the ball and ran back to the basket.

2. Walking in the parking lot, two boys were ahead of me talking. One began to tease the other about his game. Before the parent admonished them to be nice they had the following exchange:

Little Boy:  Mark, I'm gonna call you "Mary" cause it's a girl name.

Mark:  (very seriously) - Girls play mean.

Little Boy:  (voiced hushed and dread-filled) - I know!

3. During the confusion over which way to run with the ball a girl fell and the ball bounced away. The three kids nearest her all ran to help her up as the ball rolled by unattended.

I would like to live in a world where we can all stop chasing the ball long enough to help one another up. I was completely captivated by the referee system for these little ones. 

The coach told me their goal at this age was to learn to dribble (not double dribble or travel), shoot, and stay in the boundaries. The referee (a high school volunteer) would blow the whistle if a child stepped off the court, took more than a step or two (or..three) without dribbling or double dribbled at length. You could see she would hesitate when she saw the beginnings of a penalty to give them a chance to remember what they were supposed to be doing, and then reluctantly she'd blow the whistle. Most of her time, however, was spent helping.  

She would move her hands to show the kids they needed to dribble, and any time a new team got the ball she would point to the correct basket and wave all the kids to the proper side. She told them when they were defense and encouraged them to put their hands up to guard. She didn't just tell each child once and expect them to remember. She reminded them again and again with a smile each time. I saw her tie more than one shoe.  She was, without a doubt, a most gentle referee.

Spirituality can be that way in our lives.  Too often we encounter religious doctrine or rigid people aimed at telling us what we do wrong, and penalizing us for misdeeds. Imagine how powerful communities of faith would be if we did more than blow a whistle when someone stepped out of bounds, but we actually reminded them along the way to watch their footing, or bent over to tie their shoe.  Instead of just calling out wrongs, spirituality exists to provide a guide to right. 

Jesus illustrates some of that in the well studied Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7).  Notice what he says and what he doesn't.

Jesus says:  Blessed are the poor in spirit....

Not: You wouldn't be poor in spirit if you made some time for church.

Jesus says:  Blessed are those who mourn...

Not: God doesn't give you more than you can handle; be blessed not depressed!

Jesus says: If someone wants to sue you to take your shirt, give him your cloak also.

Not: Counter-sue for false witness and character defamation! Get elected on an official board and let the judges you know you don't like judicial interference into private matters! Tell everyone on facebook what they did.

Jesus definitely calls out wrongs during this amazing sermon. He points out there are boundaries, and traveling (like looking at someone as an object of lust instead of a human being) is still against the rules. However,  the overall picture he paints shows us a faith that spends more time guiding ourselves and others to the light rather  than simply pointing out and punishing darkness.

Spirituality has a dual role in our lives. It does serve to enliven our conscience and point out to us when we are doing something God does not desire. It also serves to encourage our hearts to learn the basics of community and helps us remember them when we stumble and forget.

In the game of our lives, let's not blame the referee or hide from the striped shirted whistle blower. Let's listen, and be thankful. And let's not be so quick to blow the whistle that we can't take the time to tie a shoe here or there.

Spirituality is...Challenging

Helen Mirren as HRH Queen Elizabeth II in "The Queen"

 (c) 2006, Miramax Films

Robin Janvrin:  Prime Minister, I understand how `difficult' her behavior must seem to  you..how `unhelpful'..but try to see  it from her perspective.. (searches for right words) She's been brought up to believe its God's will that she is who she is.

Tony Blair:   I think we should leave God out of it.  It's just not helpful.

There is a rise of atheism (or at least claimed atheism) in our country.  I encounter it on websites such as "Better than Faith" (an atheist site dedicated seemingly to making fun of the religious and their beliefs), on Reddit, which has an entire /subcategory for atheism, and in discussion with friends from work and the community.   The common thread all those folks seem to have is the same as Tony Blair's line from the movie "The Queen".  In dealing with difficult situations, they've chosen a life where they can simply "leave God out of it."

Let's face it. In the game of life sometimes it does seem like it would be easier to leave God on the sidelines, or in the stadium seats or kept in a playbook inside someone's locker that is only opened on Sunday mornings.  It would be easier if we didn't have to ask God such difficult questions like, "Why me? Why this? Why now?"   Its nicer to think its just all the laws of science and rules of the random universe than wrestle with a deity that created us and knows the pains and struggles we face.  It's much less effort to believe there isn't a God, than to try to understand in the darkness around us that there is one. 

It is always easier to claim there are no answers than to ask difficult questions.  But, it's also emptier, unchallenged, and disencarnated.  Spirituality involves embracing the challenge of asking about the hard stuff. 

Someone has to answer for suffering children. Someone has to be responsible for the tears of sorrow a betrayed woman cries into the night. Someone should reckon with the prayers of a man who needs a job, a hope, or a dream. Someone needs to explain Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, and the Virginia Tech shooting.  Someone must respond.

You think that someone is God.

It’s highly possible that God thinks that someone is you.

Wait....What?   

How did this become a staring contest?  How did you just become responsible for the waking nightmares we on earth endure?  I mean, you aren’t responsible for having an answer for all that stuff, are you?

No.

And, yes.

Or, at least you’re responsible to seek it.

Where was God when all that was happening? God was with you.

God With Us – the Divine Partnership

It’s pretty clear from early on in the creation narrative that God is not interested in existing alone. God makes living things swiftly – trees, fish, plants, animals and finally people. With humans (certainly the most involved experiment) God shows a desire not only to be with someone, but to be chosen by someone. God doesn’t want a robot. God wants love – the kind of love only free will can grant. Chosen love.

In order to have that kind of relationship, God creates a system or pattern of being that is a divine partnership. God the creator makes us – the creative. God plants a garden and we tend it. God grows an orchard and we harvest it. God builds the car and we drive it.  Or not.  We can choose not to tend the garden, and then the weeds will overtake the food. We decide not to harvest the trees and the fruit will rot where it started. We can refuse to drive, or worse – drive without caution -- and the vehicle will be more burden than blessing to the world around us.  All the while, even when we are rejecting the tasks set before us, we are still a part of the divine partnership with God. 

So when we ask where God is, the first thing to remember is that God is with us – beside us, around us, within us. God is hoping we choose to tend the garden. God is encouraging us over and over to harvest the fruit, and God is begging us to drive more carefully. God cries when we cry, and God longs like we long. But, God is determined. We started this evolutionary journey of life together and together we will continue.  God’s not likely to push us out of the car and take over, although God will sometimes provide an airbag when we go too fast and hit too hard. The all-seeing deity can be asked for a map (and family and friends who turn out to be good back-seat drivers) to guide us along our way.

Like any partnership, there are rocky times and necessary things that must happen along the way. We should always be honest with God about our needs, our expectations, our fears and our disappointments. Only in truth can we work together effectively.  We must avoid trying to do God’s job, and we must make sure we are not making God entirely responsible for doing our job.  Partnerships change and grow in time, but as long as the love remains even the toughest challenges, biggest losses or greatest disappointments can be overcome. 

Being a part of this partnership is definitely harder than simply writing God off as  far-away or a fantasy. But the life, the joy, the challenge, and the love make it the much better reality.

Spirituality is...Restless

“A few seconds are long enough for a revolutionary idea, a startling communication, a baby’s conception, a wounding insult, or a sudden death. Depending on how we think of them our lives can be infinitely long or ultimately short.”

                           Robert Grudin – Time and the Art of Living 

Our relationship with time has changed since humans first started measuring days with the movement of the sun. We used to use time to mark our lives. Now we live in such a way as to fulfill the requirements of time. We have forgotten time was meant to serve us, and now time has become the master. Aware that time is pushing us around, we tend to push back. 

Think about it.  How many times have you:

•  Stood in front of a microwave oven and said “Hurry?”
•  Refused to see a movie in the theater because it was three hours long?
•  Left a restaurant because there would be a 30 minute wait (only to spend 20 minutes driving in a car to another one?) 
•  Complained because a website took more than five seconds to upload?

Our perspective of time is skewed in favor of the fast, the convenient, and the instantly accessible. It’s indicative or our general feeling of cultural and spiritual restlessness.

This desire for time to speed by and for the things around us to “hurry up” makes the waiting place even more unbearable. Like school children who have stacked our books on top of our desk and slung our backpack over our shoulder, we watch the big hand of the clock inch s-l-o-w-l-y forward, tapping our foot impatiently. We are ready for the next adventure.  Why are we waiting?  We echo the same sentiment as David in the Bible, “How long, Oh Lord?”

David, the anointed King of Israel, spent more time in the waiting place than most people. He didn’t just sit around. For a time he was serving King Saul and learning how to lead an Army, and then he spent some time in caves hiding for his life. He made friends, got married, won battles, and prayed, prayed, prayed. Yet, again and again his prayers increasingly reflected his restlessness to be King.

Hear his words in Psalm 13

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?

       How long will you hide your face from me?

 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

       and every day have sorrow in my heart?

       How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

       Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

       and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

                                                Psalm 13:1-4

We’ve been taught to think of the psalms as song, but they really were prayers that happened to be sung.  In this prayer we see David exasperated and exaggerating.  He sounds like a teenager who’s been grounded for a week begging to be let out early.

How long?

Is it going to be FOREVER?

How long are you going to hide from me?

I’m bored! I’m depressed!

This waiting is killing me!

Let me out or I will die!

All my friends, and even my enemies, are laughing at me.

Sound familiar?  It’s the song of our prayers as we wait for our circumstances to change. It’s the cry of our heart when we are waiting for the pain to stop, or the healing to begin. It’s the hope we send up when we need a job. It’s the complaint we grumble when the lab results won’t be back for a week. It is our restlessness showing we are ready to leave the waiting place.

How can you tell the difference between when God is asking you to wait, and when God has said the time for waiting is over?  The restlessness is usually a good clue. We get restless when it is time for us to make a change in our life. Suddenly, the same things we have done no longer feel good, or right. We spend more time looking out the window or down the track than taking stock of where we’ve come from and what we have. We are gathering our books. We are ready.

I’ve always advised people that the best time to consider quitting your job isn’t when you’ve had a terrible day at work and you realize you don’t like what you’re doing. The best time is when you have a great day at work, and everything goes right, but you still don’t like what you’re doing.  That’s when it’s time to prepare for a change. 

Restless energy is a great tool for spiritual revival. Take all that passion that is building for change and channel it into learning about God, being with God, and preparing to step away from the waiting place into the path that is waiting. What does David end his prayer with?

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love;

       my heart rejoices in your salvation.

 6 I will sing to the LORD,

       for he has been good to me.

                                    Psalm 13:5-6

David uses his time to trust God, and enjoy the fact that he knows God is with him even when it doesn’t always feel that way. David sings and remembers the good times, and good things God has done.

When you are in that place of reconnecting with God and going through a transition of life or love, use some of that time to reflect on the places you and God have been, and the places you and God are yet to go. Remember good times. Remember God’s love. Get ready to feel that love time and time again.

Spirituality is .... Clarity

Star Wars III
REVENGE OF THE SITH: ™ & © 2005 Lucasfilm Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

Anakin Skywalker: If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Philosophers and seminarians spend a lot of time talking about the concept of "truth" and wondering if it is absolute or relative. Cases can be made for both a truth that does not change and for a truth that exists in time, situation, and motivation. What role does spirituality play in these discussions? Spirituality is lamp that shines the light so these things can be examined more closely. Spirituality brings clarity.

I developed a sense of spiritual clarity by accident as a young person.  Through the course of my life - three very different sets of people had a hand in my raising.  My parents were agnostic, work-focused, logical people with a rigid sense of rules and discipline.  In the world of my parents - everything had its place in the scheme of right and wrong and it did not change.  My Mamaw (Grandma - for you non-southerners) kept me all summer - every summer. A widow by the time I was born, she and her sons were subsistence farmers in Laurel Bloomery, Tennessee. She was practical and didn't have time to worry about things outside of her land. If it wasn't about the crops, the garden, or the status of the tin roof on her house - then it didn't matter.  My Uncle Ernie and Aunt Shirley also were a big part of my development. Uncle Ernie was a Vietnam Vet who came back unable to function within the structure of conventional society and had found his peace and family in a MC (Motorcycle Club). In short, he is a biker. Not the "weekend warrior" type -  the outlaw, Harley Davidson, leather jacket every day "live this life" kind of biker. His form of truth is a "code" he and all the members of the MC live by.

Growing up with three very different influences gave me a host of opinions and options for every situation. For example - if a girl named Suzy hit me at school - the conversations would have gone like this:

Me:  Suzy hit me.
Mom & Dad:  What did you do to deserve that?

 Me:  Suzy hit me.
Mamaw:  Well, imagine that.  There's beans over there for you to snap....

Me:  Suzy hit me.
Uncle Ernie:  Hit her back.

In time I came to realize that all three responses have a place in daily life. There is a time for self-reflection - to ponder if you are indeed at fault in a conflict. There is a time to simply let things go and figure out what's really important.  There is a time to fight back - or at least stand up for yourself and the things you believe. How do you know which is the right response? Clarity.

Clarity is what the bible is calling us to develop when it reminds us that "for everything there is a season."  Jesus invites us to learn about clarity in Matthew 20 when he tells the parable of the workers in the vineyard. In that story a landowner makes a deal for workers to work all day for a denarius. Later he picks some more up at mid-day for the same wage, and then adds some for an hour for the same denarius.  The full day workers grumble (and most of us would too!).  "It's not fair!" The cry goes out.  Jesus seems to be reminding us that God is not "fair" - God is generous beyond fairness.  (And then to make sure we get the point, Jesus begins to talk about his death on the cross for us - celebrating the unfairness inside God's generous grace).

Some people need more work than money and they end up being chosen in the morning. Others have the capacity for some work (or maybe they just aren't morning people and missed the first call to labor) and get picked up at lunch.  Others can only work an hour but need the support the finance gives.  The spirituality of clarity helps us not look at the cost-benefit analysis - but the unique transaction the landowner makes with the individuals to bring them into the community of workers.

Spirituality is that part of us that triumphs over our "One Ring to Rule Them All" mentality, and our desire to have one way, one lesson, one truth out of each scripture and instead let the God who breathed it - keep breathing new life into it, and into us.

Clarity takes energy. It involves listening, learning, risking and hardest of all - changing.  Seems like just when you want the answer to be "fight!" the answer will be "let it go" and at other times when you are sure the answer is to drop the situation and focus elsewhere you will discover, instead, that you need to examine yourself and your actions.

We sometimes think of spirituality as a foggy meadow where God's gifts and desires lie hidden for us in the mist.  But, the ability to see clearly and walk with God confidently is truly a manifestation of the holy spirit. Clarity is the essence of light in the darkness.


So in the words of an age-old hymn....

Let us pray that grace may everywhere abound,
“Send the light! Send the light!”
And a Christlike spirit everywhere be found,
Send the light! Send the light!
Send the light, the blessed Gospel light;
Let it shine from shore to shore!
Send the light, the blessed Gospel light;
Let is shine forevermore.