Spirituality is ... A Choice

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Ginny Owens, "If You Want Me To" 

Years ago, the church I attended had a "spirituality class" they were promoting as part of an adult Christian education event.  It was the usual fare -- Potluck dinner, games for the kids, and class for adults.  What was supposed to make this so special was the spirituality expert the church had contracted to lead the event.  Instead of relying on in-house/in-region talent - the church had been given a donation to bring in a certified spiritual guru who taught classes in spiritual formation, ecumenical understanding, and meditative practices at a well known seminary.  Wow.  

We gathered for class full of anticipation and excitement. Around the room he had a gong, some chimes, colorful prayer flags, and an incense burner.  He talked in one of those lisping gentle voices and kept his eyes half-closed when he spoke of the Spirit - which made it look as if he could see Heaven itself or he was strung out on opium.  He clanged the gong at certain intervals, lit the incense, and chimed the chimes. He talked of history and mysteries. He lifted his hands to the heavens and drew a circle to bring us in.  It was, without doubt, the worst education experience I ever had.  What happened?

• The gong  gave me a headache
• The colorful flags distracted me (and one was hanging crooked, which really challenged my concentration)
• The chimes were atonal, and annoying
• The incense stirred up my asthma and its putrid smell hung in that room for days

Later that night someone asked me, "Well, what did you learn?"

"What I learned," I replied still rubbing my aching head. "Was that you can't 'make' something spiritual. It either is or it isn't." 

A few weeks later an elder of the church named Myra needed a ride to the doctor's office and invited me to lunch afterward. I didn't know her very well, and am generally awkward around people who are new to me. However, she put me at ease. She talked about her husband and how she had only known him 2 weeks before she married him, because he was going overseas to fight in WWII. He didn't write many letters, but did send her post cards from places far away.  She told me the night almost 2 years later when he returned home from the war was as nerve-wracking and exciting as their wedding night. She talked of getting to know him while already having been married to him, of raising kids, and the challenges of living on very little then living on more.  She told me how she missed him since he passed away, and how she knew the night she arrived in Heaven and saw him again would be as nerve-wracking and exciting as those nights before.  It was, without a doubt, one of the most spiritually enlivened lunches I ever had.  

Reflecting, I realize now that the main difference between those two events was me. The Holy Spirit was in both rooms but I was annoyed and uncomfortable with the guru. I chose to block out a lot of what he said. I was open and interested in Myra and chose to take what she said in.  He drew a circle that I did not want to enter. She drew a circle that I willingly stepped toward.  Spirituality - particularly allowing spiritual moments - is a choice we make.

Sometimes we tend to think of spirituality as something that "happens to us" or "happens around us".  However, our conscious choices determine whether the door is open or closed. We choose whether or not to be open and receptive to the call of God, or the inspiration of the Spirit.  We choose whether or not to make space in our lives for such encounters. We choose whether or not we will do what God tells us.  One of the great gifts of spirituality is the understanding that God doesn't push or puppet us. God gives us the choice.

• When pain and loss happens - we can walk away angry, or we can run to God for comfort.
• When joy and new life happens - we can congratulate ourselves, or we can share the blessing with God.
• When we have a test - we can study but not pray, pray but not study, or put both together.
• When we need some direction - we can search and reach, or stop and wait, or wander.

God has ideas about what God would prefer we do - but the choice is still up to us.  So, if you find your spiritual well seeming low or your heart of faith less than inspired - look at some of the choices you are making and see if you can discern which ones can open the doors a little wider.

How do we know what choices help us along a spiritual journey? In his closing comments to the Philippians the Apostle Paul gives us a good list.

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.  Philippians 4:8-9

 When Myra and I finished our lunch that day I told her that was one of the most spirit-filled, fun lunches I had experienced. She laughed politely and said, "Oh, I'm not sure I'm a very spiritual person."

     "How can you say that?" I asked, surprised.

     "Well, you remember that spirituality fellow we had at church a few weeks ago?" she asked, lowering her voice as if she intended to tell me a huge secret. 

     "Yes, I remember," I responded, my head feeling a phantom pain.

     "I must not be very spiritual," she continued. "Because I sure didn't get a thing out of that!"

Spirituality is...Sanctuary

"Sanctuary is where we take care of our soul. It is both a place and a state of the mind and heart - a refuge to hold dear and to reverently give."    The Sanctuary Garden by Christopher Francis McDowell. 

This morning in church Pastor Dixie was praying and said something that has been rolling around in my head ever since.  She said, "We know a sanctuary is not a vault for keeping God in, but a reminder that the world is a sanctuary for us."  Wow.

My first thought upon hearing that was, "Lord, I wish that was true. Let that someday be true."  Because, frankly, the world just doesn't seem like much of a sanctuary sometimes.  I have always thought of sanctuary as a place to get away from the world, not the other way around. And yet, in study and more prayer today - I realize Dixie is right. 

When I hear the word "Sanctuary" the first thing I think of, without fail, is the "Hunchback of Notre Dame"  where Quasimodo takes Esmeralda into the church crying, "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!" to invoke the laws of protection offered by the church. 

 Sadly, in that story - the ability of the laws of sanctuary to protect innocent Esmeralda are limited and ultimately fail.  Sometimes even the biggest doors can't keep danger away. However, the dictionary shows us another definition for the idea other than "keep the danger out".

Sanctuary has its roots in the Latin word sanctus.  That word simply means - "holy".  So a sanctuary isn't:

a safe place

a pretty place

a happy place

a peaceful place.

A sanctuary is a "holy place".  Now, I understand that if the sanctuary had those other attributes - safety, beauty, joy and peace - that makes it more appealing.  But the truth remains that what is required for the status of sanctuary is holiness. 

I know what you are thinking.  The world - that loud, violent, crashing place where children suffer hunger, and the rich refuse to care for the poor - is NOT holy.  But, who are we to say that's entirely true?  In the parable of the weeds in the wheat - (Matthew 13) - the wheat and weeds are allowed to grow together in the field. Then they will be separated at harvest. Why?  Because pulling up the weeds may damage the wheat -- and lets face it - some folks have a difficult time telling "weeds" from "wheat" and may pull up the wrong thing to begin with.  Better to leave the wheat until harvest. After all, the wheat is not going to turn into a weed.  Then we begin to realize -- the wheat was planted in a wheat field. Not a weed field.  The presence of the weeds does not take away the purpose of the field. 

Much in the same way - God created our world -- its majesty, natural beauty, bountiful food and amazing water -- to be a sanctuary to us. It is a holy gift.  The presence of the weeds of injustice, pollution, and corruption does not take away the holy intention of the creation or the holy infusion of the Creator. 

So what should we do in a world full of weeds?  Feed the wheat. Make its roots strong. Make the crop bountiful. Continue to nurture that which is good, that which is sustaining, and that which is still holy in the world that is around it.  Work to clean up the mess left by the weeds and protect the soil as much as possible.  

The spirituality of sanctuary isn't to carve out a small corner of the field where we feel safe from weeds.  The spirituality of sanctuary is to realize that we are the wheat planted by the farmer, tended by the great gardener, and growing ever strong in the world around us.

The law of sanctuary couldn't save Esmeralda - because laws fail.

The proclamation of our church sanctuaries can't always protect us - because churches are made of people, and people fail.

Yet - the spirituality of sanctuary - the knowledge that we are in the world, in a field made for us to be planted in, can give us light, hope and courage because its based on the holiness of God and that does not fail.

Therein lies the peace of sanctuary we so often seek.

Spirituality is...Mosaic

Benedick: ... and now tell me, how doth your cousin?
Beatrice: Very ill.
Benedick: And how do you?
Beatrice: Very ill too.
Benedick: Serve God, love me and mend.
        "Much Ado About Nothing"  Act V, Scene II
         William Shakespeare

 There are some who quietly suggest spirituality is about wholeness - being together in body, soul, and mind to serve God.  There are others who will trumpet from the rooftops that spirituality is found in brokenness - being shattered and left open for the Lord's work to shine through you.  I find that neither state of being exclusively represents spirituality very well. I believe spirituality is brokenness being made whole. Spirituality is mosaic.

Mosaic art is the art of broken pieces. Some form of media - tile usually - is broken into pieces and then placed on a backing to be used as part of a larger picture. It's a well thought out process:

1. The design, or at least a rough idea of it, is sketched out.
2. Tile is broken or broken tile is collected.
3. The tile is placed into the design - sometimes being nipped into a better fitting shape, sometimes not.
4. The design is grouted - cemented in place so that it holds together.
5. The art work is cleaned and polished so the design shines through.
6. The art work is sealed making it able to stand up against the elements.

Spiritually, we function in much the same way. God works in holy partnership with our humanity to come up with a picture of the Creator we want to show the world. Or, God guides us to be part of someone else's picture. Brokenness (either previous or current) gives us wisdom, perseverance, grace and love so we can be placed in the design.  Sometimes we are nipped or shaped further by teachers or life lessons, sometimes not. Once we are in the design God grouts us with the Holy Spirit and holds the picture together. Over time, through God's loving hand and our willingness, we are cleaned and polished of the things that distract from the picture of God's desire.  We are sealed - through our constant and hopeful relationship with Christ - to stand up to the elements around us. 

No matter where we are in the process - (and we may be in several places at once) spirituality is the name of what is happening to us.

There are some things to note:

Brokenness is NOT the goal.  Much of the time mosiac art is made of tile that happens to have gotten broken naturally. Floor tile that is chipped and can't be used is a good source. In fact, one form of mosaic art - Tea Cup Mosaic - was made popular in the late 1800's when a teacup or other piece of inherited china would accidentally get broken. The broken pieces were turned into a trivet or work of art so the china, and the family history it represented, could be preserved. 
     There are times when you do purchase a tile to break it for the artwork. However, any time tile is purchased specifically to be broken - it is the artist who breaks it. I find God, more often than not, uses our broken pieces that life on earth has already left us with. But if we must experience a specific brokenness for God's greater good - it is God's job to do it.  We should NEVER entertain the idea that it is our job to break someone else so they can "be used of God". We have neither the right, nor the skill, to do so.  Harming someone and calling it God's will isn't spiritual. It's just cruel.

Wholeness is NOT the end. The secret all artists know, and thrive on, is the understanding that when a work of art is completed - its life is just beginning. The way it connects, the meaning it shows, the joy or thought it gives will continue on with each encounter.  None of us are so grouted, so polished or so complete that we can just sit down and say, "Well, that's it. I'm a spiritual being, the picture is done. What's for lunch?"  Spirituality is a pulsing, evolving connection with God and others that doesn't end.

As we journey through our lives, whether we are seeking a purpose for our brokenness or reaching out with our wholeness, let's continue to remember it is the triune relationship between the artist, the media and the audience - each part essential - in which the spirit thrives. 

Spirituality is....Asking

(c) 1993, 20th Century Fox, The Simpsons. 

In the Simpsons episode "Homer and Apu" the Simpson family travels to India so Apu can ask for his job back from the guru of gurus - the head of the Kwik-E-Mart. When they arrive - he is sitting crossed legged on top of the Himalayas - like the stereotypical wise man.  He only allows petitioners to ask him three questions.


Head Of Kwik-E-Mart: You may ask me three questions.

Homer: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Head Of Kwik-E-Mart: Yes--
Homer: Really?
Head Of Kwik-E-Mart: Yes--
Homer: You?
Head Of Kwik-E-Mart: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening to you. Thank you, come again.

Poor Apu never gets to ask his question! That's a shame, because the act of asking is one of the best pathways we can find in spirituality. 

We often see or hear of spiritual people  much in the same way The Simpsons represents them. Whether or not they are sitting on a mountain top - we tend to think of spiritual people as peaceful, all-knowing, wisdom providing beings who have all the answers.  They wait for us to come to them and they tell us those things we need to know. They bring light and enlightenment to us with their very presence. We walk away from our encounters saying, "someday I'd like to be like that!"  And when we do - we miss the point.

Spirituality isn't about knowing all the answers, being ever-calm, or being isolated from the rest of the world. In some ways, that model is about as far from spirituality as you get.  Spirituality is about asking the questions, longing for answers and learning from each other along the way.  Spiritual people don't isolate themselves permanently on the mountaintop of  "above-it-all"  floating over the problems of life.  Spiritual people are in the world engaging other people in acts of healing, words of hope and prayers of connection.  Spiritual people are the ones down in the mud helping others or seeking help themselves.

Always knowing the "right thing to say" isn't spirituality. Sitting beside someone, holding their hand in silence because you don't know what to say but you desire to comfort them is the breath of God in you. Spirituality isn't always a pretty, fluid prayer timed like a dance that rolls off the tongue. Sometimes its a jagged heaving cry that simply says, "God, I don't know what to do anymore. Help me."

Being spiritual doesn't make someone untouchable, elevated or holy.  Being spiritual makes someone real. There's an old preacher's joke that I think of when I come across one of those stereotypical views of the spirit.

A farmer stopped by a little country church and approached the desk of the church secretary. Standing before her with a farmer's tan and dirty overalls he asked for the pastor.
     "Let me speak to the head hog of the herd!" He thundered joyously.
     "Sir!" gasped the startled secretary. "We do not refer to our Pastor, The Most Reverend Alan Clayton, like that! It's disrespectful and undignified. Please remember, Sir, this is Holy Ground."
     "Well, I'm terribly sorry," the farmer continued. "I reckon I don't belong here then. I was just excited because I got a great price on my crop and I stopped by to donate 5 thousand dollars to thank the Lord.  I'll be leavin' now."
The secretary bounded over the desk, jumped in from the farmer and replied, "Hold on! I'll get the big pig right now!"

There's nothing wrong with respect, or dignity. But I think it would serve us to remember that spirituality is about pursuit and connection - not pomp and circumstance. 

Asking has many of the elements of spirituality.  Please note: I am purposely using the word "asking" and not the word "seeking" - to get us out of the habit of "church speak" and into the world we live in. 

• Asking involves honesty. In order to ask, you must admit you don't know. 
• Asking involves opening. Whether asking God, or a person - you must open yourself to receive an answer.
• Asking involves connection. It is a reaching, joining thing to ask a question. 
• Asking involves hope. We don't ask something unless we believe or hope we will get an answer.

Who did Jesus commend for being of great faith and spirit?

• A centurion who asked Jesus to heal his servant
• The Syropheonician woman, who asked and argued, for Jesus to heal her daughter
• A woman who goes to a corrupt judge and asks for justice over and over and over
• A thief who asks to be remembered (perhaps forgiven) when Jesus comes into his kingdom.

 So, in your journey of spirit and hope don't simply weigh your faith in the balance of how many answers you know. Encourage your soul with the questions you are willing to ask.

Spirituality is . . . Beginning

            “Because of our traditions, we've kept our balance for many, many years. Here in Anatevka, we have traditions for everything... How to sleep, how to eat... how to work... how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered, and always wear a little prayer shawl that shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, "How did this tradition get started?" I'll tell you! [pause]….I don't know. But it's a tradition... and because of our traditions... Every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do.”   Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof.

            I remember one year at 7^th and 8^th grade church camp we had changed the names of morning and evening prayer times from “MORNING PRAYER” and “EVENING PRAYER” to “LAUDS” and “VESPERS” to bring a more spiritual tone to the schedule (sadly there were no monastic words to cover such things as dorm clean up, swimming, and canteen/snack time). I felt pretty super duper spiritual about the whole thing until I had the following conversation:

            8^th grade girl:  What’s Lords?

            Kellie:  Lauds

            8^th grade girl:  (blank stare)

            Kellie:  That’s our time when we sing choruses and have prayer before breakfast.

            8^th grade girl:   Oh!  Morning Prayer!

            Kellie: Exactly – only now it’s called Lauds.

            8^th grade girl:  Why don’t you just call it “Morning prayer”?

            Kellie: Well, Lauds is what they call it in monasteries when people pray in the morning hour of the day. It’s an ancient tradition of the church and by doing it we are a part of the great spiritual tradition.

            8^th grade girl: So, what time does Morning Prayer start?

            Kellie:  Lauds.

            8^th grade girl:  Whatever! I need at least 2 hours to blow dry my hair…how early do I have to get up?

I suppose I shouldn’t have taken her commentary too much to heart. After all, this was the same girl whose morning prayer largely involved being thankful for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  But there was a ring of truth in her linguistic apathy.  Spirituality isn’t found in something just because you do it repeatedly, ritually, or rationally. Spirituality is found in meaning. While tradition has a place in our spiritual tool-box, we should also make sure to leave room for the other side of the coin – beginning.

We live in a “It’s not how you start, but if you finish” kind of world. Think about it. How many pictures do you see of runners leaving the starting gate, as opposed to pictures of them crossing the finish line? Are you more likely to judge someone based on what they have started or what they have done?  We hang our college diplomas on the wall, not our kindergarten graduation photo- even though it was the lessons we learned there that all the others were built upon.  Everyday we walk by beginnings in our lives and the lives of others with a minimum of attention. Yet, there is a great spiritual power in their midst.

The Bible, that amazing story of God With Us, is full of the power of beginning.

• It starts at the beginning (Genesis) about the beginning.
• Soon after the beginning, Cain kills Abel and Adam & Eve must begin again (Seth).
• The story of Noah and the Ark isn’t simply the story of an end, but of a new beginning.
• The Abrahamic Covenant shows the beginning of our claim to God.
• The Davidic Covenant shows the beginning of God’s reclaiming us.
• The Psalms speak of morning much more than evening.
• Christ comes as a baby – at the beginning of life.
• Christ begins a new way, a new covenant, and a new hope.
• A church begins with its spoken intent to make us new creations.
• At the climax of the book of Revelation the God who made the heavens and the earth makes a new heaven and earth - triumphantly proclaiming, “I am making all things new!”

Is there any way we can deny that the spirit of God is found in the willingness to begin?

Beginning is a blank chalk board. It allows us new options, amazing possibilities, and the best opportunities of all – to reach, to stretch, to change and to become.   As surely as traditions help us understand who we are and what God expects, beginnings open us to who we can be, and what God has made possible. 

Reflecting on the new – I am reminded of another church camp experience. This one much sweeter; it is a song we used to sing with Junior Campers and at vacation bible school.  As a child, it is an achievement just to get these words out. But now, as adults, it’s an achievement to live these words out.

“I am a Promise

I am a possibility

I am a promise

With a capital “P”

I am a great big bundle of

Potentiality!

And if I listen to hear God’s voice

and I keep tryin’ to make the right choice

then I’m a promise to be

everything God wants me to be.”

Are you ready for 2011?  Let’s begin.

What is Spirituality?

I don't know Bill Maher, and he certainly doesn't know me. However, from looking at his writings, thoughts, and media presence I think its safe to say Bill Maher and I don't spend much time on the same page.  Imagine my surprise when I read his annual Christmas rant and found myself agreeing with part of it.

Taking on the Queen of media, and perhaps biting off more than he can chew - Maher wrote:

"Oprah's show purports to be a lot about spirituality. If it was, then wouldn't she tell her worshiping flock to "sit down and stop losing your shit over material stuff?" As for me, I don't really know what spirituality means, but I know if you're weeping over a sweater then you don't either."

 And I agree. People jumping up and down over acquiring more material goods is hardly the stuff spirituality is made of.  It is easy to see what spirituality is NOT. What I have found more difficult is defining what spirituality is.

So this year instead of the occasional entry on a scripture, I'm going to digress and each week explore the idea of what spirituality actually is.  I am not sure it is one thing - (in fact, for this experiment, I am hoping it is at least 52 different things!) -- but I am sure that by encountering it with the eyes of faith and a heart of wisdom we can learn many things.

So for this year, I invite you to join me and learn a little about what spirituality really means.  I promise, at the end of the year - I will not give you a sweater.