Spirituality is....Getting It

“I’ve defined myself, all my life, by what I was against. I fought against everything, but more and more I worry that I was never for anything. Oh, I can criticize and complain and judge everything, but where does that get me? Rebelling isn’t rebuilding. Ridicule isn’t replacing. My generation! All we did was make fun of the way the world was. We didn’t make it any better. We spent so much time judging what other people created we didn’t create anything of our own. We took the world apart, but had no idea what to do with the pieces.”

                             Ida Mancini in Choke, by Chuck Palahnuik

 Today at church during a lively children's sermon the speaker was talking about Jesus telling the woman at the well she could have "living water."  He carefully, and cheerfully, walked the thin, razor-sharp highwire made by the stringing of metaphors between small children still in their literal age.  In trying to explain that the woman didn't understand what Jesus was saying, he sought to show that people in our time, having the advantage of knowing the whole gospel story, understood it better.  What he said was, "She didn't understand what Jesus meant. But we have the benefit of "getting it."

I have thought about that sentence ever since he said it. (Proof once more that I am much better suited to learning from the children's sermon than the adult one. Not a surprise, really...). "We have the benefit of "getting it."   All day the question has nagged me.  Maybe -  when you look at a world in so much need and a church (universal) still struggling with science, acceptance, and how to reach outside the circle of the secluded saved, -  the same question nags you too:

Are we?
Are we "getting it?"

Another text in the Bible shows an exasperated Jesus encountering legalism and posing the same question. 

Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. "Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. The second one married the widow but he died also, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all the woman died too. At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her.

Jesus replied, "Are you in error because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God? When the dead rise, they will neither marry or be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. Now about the dead rising - have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, "I am the God of Jacob? He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living. You are badly mistaken."
                               Mark 12:18-27 (NIV)

 Jesus asks them -- Are you in error (are you not "getting it") because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God? In other words: Are you people ignorant or unbelieving? 

A professor once taught me that if you want to truly get the feel of a scripture - write it out by hand and see how you interact with the words.  I tried that with this scripture, grabbing my trusty fountain pen and writing it into my journal.  I noticed two things right off:

1.  What a long question!
2.  What a stupid question.

Jesus seems to notice both the length and stupidity of the query in his grumpy response, concluding - "You are badly mistaken".  Personally, of all the things I want to hear Jesus say to me, "You are badly mistaken" is NOT on the list.  What are their mistakes? Why aren't they "getting it?"

They, like Ida Mancini, are too busy ridiculing to gain any real knowledge.  They don't believe in resurrection, and they probably don't spend a lot of time caring about who is married to anyone. The ludicrous scenario is intended to make fun of the idea that we live on after we die.  They were not willing to learn. They were, in fact, ignorant.

They also were practicing what we know as "confirmation bias" - the psychological phenomenon that says we only give authority or acceptance to ideas that confirm what we already think instead of accepting something that might change or broaden our reality. They didn't want to believe in the power of God to carry our souls through death to life. They were, in fact, unbelieving.

 

Spirituality - "getting it" - is that act of leaving both of those qualities behind. It's easy to think of pithy questions and outrageous scenarios to question faith, hope or God. Like the always popular, "If God is all powerful, can God make an object so heavy that God cannot lift it?"   (My answer:  "Stop it."). Ridicule isn't replacing and logic traps don't make anyone brighter, better, or more hopeful.  Being a spiritual being is having the capacity to learn, and interact honestly with people, scripture and God.

Spirituality is also the willingness to confront our confirmation bias (we all have it - its connected to our ego - and what do we remember about ego?  E.G.O. -- Everybody's Got One).  When you realize you are drawn only to things that support what you think or what you think you think - stop and give other thoughts a chance. It doesn't mean you have to believe something just because its different.Rebelling isn't rebuilding. But it does mean a conscious effort to really consider ideas will give you more tools and more chances to be "getting it."

Finally, be energized and excited by the fact that while spiritual people are "getting it" - no one on this earth - has "got it."  Spirituality is a journey of learning, changing, praying and hope.  It is about rebuilding, and it is about replacing. It is about revelation, and re-creation.  No one gets to sit on the platform of "I got it all figured out" (and you should be highly suspicious of anyone who tries).  So do not worry about how near or far you think you are from "getting it" - just keep listening, learning, and loving.

Spirituality is...A Partnership of Miracles

    God: People ask me to do things - big things, little things - billions of times, every day.

    Joan: What do you expect? You're God!

    God: I put a lot of thought into the Universe; came up with the rules. It sets a bad example if I break them - not to mention, shows favoritism. Why should one person get a miracle, and not everybody else? Can you imagine the confusion? It's better when we all abide by the rules.

    Joan: No miracles?

    God: Miracles happen within the rules.

Joan of Arcadia "The Fire and The Wood"

Like most people in our world, I have been touched by  horror, sadness and fear as I watched Japan struggle with earthquake, tsunami, and a nuclear power crisis. I have also been touched by horror, sadness and fear as I listen to media commentators, television preachers and political pulpit-teers suggest this suffering was the punishment, and/or will of God.  It simply boggles my mind that churches will spend thousands of dollars and hours on programs to "bring people to God" - only to turn around and suggest that God created this terrible loss of life as some sort of "lesson" or "punishment" never realizing they just drove countless  people in opposite direction from God's love.

I have told more than one person when they’ve spouted off, “it is God’s will” to be careful when saying that around me. After a quizzical look comes my way I’ll add, “That statement gives me an allergic reaction.” Why? Two reasons:

First - It’s a write off, not a theological truth. We throw around God’s unknowable, indefinable will and we don’t have to think anymore.

“I don’t know why I didn’t get that job, it must have been God’s will that I do something else,” we say. Without ever bothering to admit we were entirely unprepared for the interview or lacked the necessary experience, we hang our coat on the “God’s will” rack and fail several more times. God’s will is that we learn, seek and change. What does God say through the prophet Jeremiah?

“You will seek me and you will find me, when you seek me with your whole heart.” (Jeremiah 29.13.)

God’s will is that we LOOK for an answer, not just fill in the blank check of mystical, deterministic desire and go about our business without investigation. Did you ever notice something about the car keys and wedding rings we credit God in helping us find? We were looking for them when they showed up! God’s will is not separate from us; God’s will involves us.

Second – taken at face value, the idea that “everything that happens is God’s will” is a very disturbing idea.

In the book A Good Friend for Bad Times: Helping Others Through Grief, author Deborah Bowen explicitly says, “Do not say to a child who has lost someone, “It was God’s will.” Regardless of what you as an adult believe about spirituality and death, such a statement will negatively shape a child’s view of God and spirituality.”

It isn’t just children who can get a negative understanding of God through the idea that everything that happens in our world is what God wants. A deity who wants families to lose their homes, planes to crash, or disease to devastate a loved one is not someone I want to worship, serve, or even spend much time hanging around. From the violence of child abuse to the hypocrisy of church leaders damaging faith to promote profit, it’s clear not everything that happens is the will of God.

I do believe that while not everything that happens is God’s will it is also true that God has a will – a desire - for everything that happens. God desires abused children to be rescued, and restored. God desires hungry people to be fed, hurting people to healed, lonely people to be held, and all manner of good to come to our world. God’s will for us is all around us. But in order to see it, we must seek it and we must pursue it. Just as Jesus spoke of kneeding a little yeast into the bread - we must work God's will into fabric of this world.

 We’ve looked at all the unsatisfying answers to our questions and disappointment. Now let’s ask the question again. If God is all-powerful, and has this overriding desire for life abundantly to come to us, then why doesn’t it? Is there an answer that will satisfy our hearts? I can’t say I have found “the” answer, but I have found a peace – a place to rest and ponder this question. That resting spot is the understanding of our divinely designed partnership with God.

Want to understand the design? Then study the designer. Want to understand the designer? Study the design.

God made a system, not a “stand alone” world. God created a universe with things like gravity (as one of my favorite bumper stickers says, “Obey gravity, it’s the law!”), systems and structures. God made life - all life - into a system and gave that system some mechanisms to secure it. Earthquakes happen because tectonic plates shift and the pressure must release or the earth will explode. Hurricanes happen because of hot water, wind and the earth’s rotation. It’s the natural consequence to a set of parameters. It’s not because someone is bad or good. It’s not because God loves or hates. It’s the way the design works.

 A good parent obeys the rules he/she sets forth for the child. So I don't think God messes with the design a whole lot. I am not suggesting that God is forced to obey gravity, but I do think God chooses to let the system work as it was designed, even when the outcome is sometimes great loss. When that happens, God's tears fall, and God's inspiration is seen in all who aid, help, sacrifice and struggle.

Death and loss in Japan, or Libya, or at your neighbor's house may not be God's desire. But bringing light, life, hope and healing to those places is definitely encapsulated within the heart of God. Instead of legitimatizing those phony baloney media hounds who are slinging blame and condemnation in the name of the God who made us, let us show God's true "will." Let us show charity, compassion, giving, hope, interaction, selflessness, and love. Most of all, love. That would be downright miraculous.

"The Architect" by Jared Cullum

Spirituality is...A Do-Over

"With God, every moment is the moment of beginning again."
Catherine Doherty

     One of the most awesome and powerful elements of childhood is the "Do-Over".  You remember the "Do-Over" don't you?  It usually happened when someone new was playing a game and violated a rule without knowing it, or there was so much confusion or contesting about a play in a game that the simplest, best method for solving the crisis was simply to pretend the event never happened and start again.  Do-Over's are metaphysical miracles. They are part time-travel (going back as if something never happened), part opportunity (a baseball strike before a do-over could become a hit the second time around), and all grace.

     As we grow up, we seem to use Do-Overs less and less, and we seem to need them more and more. A chance to go back, a chance to re-do, and a chance to change the outcome of our actions or in-actions would change the game of our lives and the world entire. 

     In the bible, there is a story of a woman accused of adultery.  The bible describes the scene this way:

“The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”   John 8:3-11

We may be tempted to think of that scenario as her "Do-Over".  But we would be wrong.  It isn't a Do-Over for her --- no one who gets that close to death can pretend it didn't happen.  It's a Do-Over for the crowd - for us.  They have judged, accused and sentenced her - they have treated her badly, and looked upon her with neither mercy, nor wisdom. Jesus stops this event before it gets any worse, and by pointing out their own sin gives them a chance to walk away, think about it, and hopefully do better the next time around.

Spirituality - the ability to look internally and give mercy externally is a constant invitation to Do-Over. It is the comfort that reminds us it is never too late to begin again.

Imagine Jesus, compassionate and protective, standing with the woman caught in the act of adultery, challenging the crowd to examine their souls. It is a moment of tense silence as the stones in their hands grow heavy with the weight of their own sins. What if, suddenly, one person unable to see his sin (or unwilling to admit it) throws a rock at the woman? It strikes her, and bounces to the ground. What would happen? You know. So do I. She would die under a barrage of stones as the flood gates of self righteousness open.

But what then? How could there possibly be a Do-Over then?  The answer lies with the stones.

What would happen to the stones? Would they lay on the ground jagged and stained? Would someone collect them and show them in a museum? Would someone in her family retrieve them, sharpen them and throw them back at members of the crowd? And perhaps the most intriguing question of all - what would Jesus, the Savior, do with those stones?

I believe Jesus would pick up the stones one by one and with his tears and his own garment clean the blood from their surface and use them to build a bridge or a well or a church. I believe Jesus would reclaim those stones in the name of the Holy God who made them and use them for hope's purpose. I believe Jesus would make a lesson and a life change of those stones.  I believe he would make those stones a monument to the power of beginning again.

We live in a world where sinners throw stones every day. We hurl insults, divide with prejudice, and judge one another without hardly any thought to the stones we are throwing or the sin we deny. Jesus is pretty clear. If you have sin in your life, then you must seek forgiveness, reconcile with God and change your ways. And until you do that wonder of wonders -- leave the stones on the ground.  Only a person without sin may throw a stone (and, really, why would that person want to?).

Jesus is still in front of us - writing in the sand, reminding us to search our hearts, to build some bridges, and to never forget the power of the Do-Over.

Spirituality is...a Gentle Referee

 

"It's a one time thing. It just happens a lot."

   Cracking by Suzanne Vega.

 This Saturday I had the joy of offering the devotional at Upward Basketball. The games were held between teams such as the Leopards, the Minnows, the Pumas and the Polar Bears and the athletes were all in Kindergarten or First Grade. I remarked to a friend later that watching these games was not unlike watching kittens in uniforms play with giant orange balls of yarn.   Three of my favorite moments:

1. A little boy practicing shooting lost control of the ball. It hit a chair, bounced up and smacked him right in the face, knocking him over. With a huge smile he stood up, giggled, and said, "Thank you, Chair!" as he grabbed the ball and ran back to the basket.

2. Walking in the parking lot, two boys were ahead of me talking. One began to tease the other about his game. Before the parent admonished them to be nice they had the following exchange:

Little Boy:  Mark, I'm gonna call you "Mary" cause it's a girl name.

Mark:  (very seriously) - Girls play mean.

Little Boy:  (voiced hushed and dread-filled) - I know!

3. During the confusion over which way to run with the ball a girl fell and the ball bounced away. The three kids nearest her all ran to help her up as the ball rolled by unattended.

I would like to live in a world where we can all stop chasing the ball long enough to help one another up. I was completely captivated by the referee system for these little ones. 

The coach told me their goal at this age was to learn to dribble (not double dribble or travel), shoot, and stay in the boundaries. The referee (a high school volunteer) would blow the whistle if a child stepped off the court, took more than a step or two (or..three) without dribbling or double dribbled at length. You could see she would hesitate when she saw the beginnings of a penalty to give them a chance to remember what they were supposed to be doing, and then reluctantly she'd blow the whistle. Most of her time, however, was spent helping.  

She would move her hands to show the kids they needed to dribble, and any time a new team got the ball she would point to the correct basket and wave all the kids to the proper side. She told them when they were defense and encouraged them to put their hands up to guard. She didn't just tell each child once and expect them to remember. She reminded them again and again with a smile each time. I saw her tie more than one shoe.  She was, without a doubt, a most gentle referee.

Spirituality can be that way in our lives.  Too often we encounter religious doctrine or rigid people aimed at telling us what we do wrong, and penalizing us for misdeeds. Imagine how powerful communities of faith would be if we did more than blow a whistle when someone stepped out of bounds, but we actually reminded them along the way to watch their footing, or bent over to tie their shoe.  Instead of just calling out wrongs, spirituality exists to provide a guide to right. 

Jesus illustrates some of that in the well studied Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7).  Notice what he says and what he doesn't.

Jesus says:  Blessed are the poor in spirit....

Not: You wouldn't be poor in spirit if you made some time for church.

Jesus says:  Blessed are those who mourn...

Not: God doesn't give you more than you can handle; be blessed not depressed!

Jesus says: If someone wants to sue you to take your shirt, give him your cloak also.

Not: Counter-sue for false witness and character defamation! Get elected on an official board and let the judges you know you don't like judicial interference into private matters! Tell everyone on facebook what they did.

Jesus definitely calls out wrongs during this amazing sermon. He points out there are boundaries, and traveling (like looking at someone as an object of lust instead of a human being) is still against the rules. However,  the overall picture he paints shows us a faith that spends more time guiding ourselves and others to the light rather  than simply pointing out and punishing darkness.

Spirituality has a dual role in our lives. It does serve to enliven our conscience and point out to us when we are doing something God does not desire. It also serves to encourage our hearts to learn the basics of community and helps us remember them when we stumble and forget.

In the game of our lives, let's not blame the referee or hide from the striped shirted whistle blower. Let's listen, and be thankful. And let's not be so quick to blow the whistle that we can't take the time to tie a shoe here or there.

Spirituality is...Challenging

Helen Mirren as HRH Queen Elizabeth II in "The Queen"

 (c) 2006, Miramax Films

Robin Janvrin:  Prime Minister, I understand how `difficult' her behavior must seem to  you..how `unhelpful'..but try to see  it from her perspective.. (searches for right words) She's been brought up to believe its God's will that she is who she is.

Tony Blair:   I think we should leave God out of it.  It's just not helpful.

There is a rise of atheism (or at least claimed atheism) in our country.  I encounter it on websites such as "Better than Faith" (an atheist site dedicated seemingly to making fun of the religious and their beliefs), on Reddit, which has an entire /subcategory for atheism, and in discussion with friends from work and the community.   The common thread all those folks seem to have is the same as Tony Blair's line from the movie "The Queen".  In dealing with difficult situations, they've chosen a life where they can simply "leave God out of it."

Let's face it. In the game of life sometimes it does seem like it would be easier to leave God on the sidelines, or in the stadium seats or kept in a playbook inside someone's locker that is only opened on Sunday mornings.  It would be easier if we didn't have to ask God such difficult questions like, "Why me? Why this? Why now?"   Its nicer to think its just all the laws of science and rules of the random universe than wrestle with a deity that created us and knows the pains and struggles we face.  It's much less effort to believe there isn't a God, than to try to understand in the darkness around us that there is one. 

It is always easier to claim there are no answers than to ask difficult questions.  But, it's also emptier, unchallenged, and disencarnated.  Spirituality involves embracing the challenge of asking about the hard stuff. 

Someone has to answer for suffering children. Someone has to be responsible for the tears of sorrow a betrayed woman cries into the night. Someone should reckon with the prayers of a man who needs a job, a hope, or a dream. Someone needs to explain Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, and the Virginia Tech shooting.  Someone must respond.

You think that someone is God.

It’s highly possible that God thinks that someone is you.

Wait....What?   

How did this become a staring contest?  How did you just become responsible for the waking nightmares we on earth endure?  I mean, you aren’t responsible for having an answer for all that stuff, are you?

No.

And, yes.

Or, at least you’re responsible to seek it.

Where was God when all that was happening? God was with you.

God With Us – the Divine Partnership

It’s pretty clear from early on in the creation narrative that God is not interested in existing alone. God makes living things swiftly – trees, fish, plants, animals and finally people. With humans (certainly the most involved experiment) God shows a desire not only to be with someone, but to be chosen by someone. God doesn’t want a robot. God wants love – the kind of love only free will can grant. Chosen love.

In order to have that kind of relationship, God creates a system or pattern of being that is a divine partnership. God the creator makes us – the creative. God plants a garden and we tend it. God grows an orchard and we harvest it. God builds the car and we drive it.  Or not.  We can choose not to tend the garden, and then the weeds will overtake the food. We decide not to harvest the trees and the fruit will rot where it started. We can refuse to drive, or worse – drive without caution -- and the vehicle will be more burden than blessing to the world around us.  All the while, even when we are rejecting the tasks set before us, we are still a part of the divine partnership with God. 

So when we ask where God is, the first thing to remember is that God is with us – beside us, around us, within us. God is hoping we choose to tend the garden. God is encouraging us over and over to harvest the fruit, and God is begging us to drive more carefully. God cries when we cry, and God longs like we long. But, God is determined. We started this evolutionary journey of life together and together we will continue.  God’s not likely to push us out of the car and take over, although God will sometimes provide an airbag when we go too fast and hit too hard. The all-seeing deity can be asked for a map (and family and friends who turn out to be good back-seat drivers) to guide us along our way.

Like any partnership, there are rocky times and necessary things that must happen along the way. We should always be honest with God about our needs, our expectations, our fears and our disappointments. Only in truth can we work together effectively.  We must avoid trying to do God’s job, and we must make sure we are not making God entirely responsible for doing our job.  Partnerships change and grow in time, but as long as the love remains even the toughest challenges, biggest losses or greatest disappointments can be overcome. 

Being a part of this partnership is definitely harder than simply writing God off as  far-away or a fantasy. But the life, the joy, the challenge, and the love make it the much better reality.