Spirituality is...Having Without Possessing

The wise:
Teach without telling
Allow without commanding
Have without possessing
Care without claiming
The Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

I have to admit that every time I come across that verse from the Tao Te Ching I normally get distracted by the "teach without telling" part and end up thinking of "wax on/wax off" from The Karate Kid.  However, in a culture as beset by economic issues, consumerism and downright fear as our modern western culture, I have been paying more attention lately to the "have without possessing" part.  How do we "have and not possess" and, what's so wise about that?

To possess something is to own it fully and have the power to use it at your will. The American Heritage Dictionary tells us the word possession came into Middle English from the word posidere -  posse (to be able) and sidere (to control or inhabit). To possess is to use one of the first words we learn once we realize there are other people in the world besides ourselves: Mine.

Let's face it. Someone else's toys are just cooler.

To have something is to be able to access it, to use it at your discretion but to also understand that it is something meant to be used not held or secluded from others.  When we possess something - it is ours to keep. When we have something it is ours to use and to share.  We should be cautious though. Whether it is money, property, credit, glory or fame - the desire to possess is mighty indeed. 

One of the stories in the Jataka involves a turtle who could not stop talking. On and on he talked until everyone he knew became quite bored with him.  He was very unhappy where he resided because few would come by to listen to him talk anymore. One day two geese came by and he started talking to them. He praised their feathers and their abilities and spent most of the day chatting them up. When it came time to leave they said they enjoyed his company but had to depart.
     "Take me with you," the turtle begged.
     "We can't," the geese responded. "We are flying far away and you cannot keep up."
     The sad turtle looked around, and seeing a stick came up with a brilliant idea.
      "Wait!" He said as the geese were leaving. "You two can hold this stick in your beaks and I will clamp onto it with my strong mouth. You can use that to fly me to the next pond where the people don't know me and I can make new friends."
      "It's too dangerous," replied the geese. "If you were to let go of the stick you would drop to your death."
      "My mouth is very strong," the turtle replied.
      "Yes," said a goose. "From all your talking. But during the flight you would not be able to talk at all or you would drop."
       "I can do it," said the turtle. "I have discipline and since I know talking would mean my death, I know I will not talk."
        So the two geese decided to give it a try.  Holding the stick between their beaks they took off with the turtle clamped on tight.  Everything was working as planned.  Until....
        A group of children saw the geese and began to clap and cheer for them.
        "Look at those geese!" Exclaimed the child calling to the heavens.
        "That is the smartest thing we have ever seen. Look how cleverly the geese are carrying that turtle!"
        "Way to go, Geese!" One child called.
The turtle was incensed. The children were mistaken and giving credit to the wrong parties! After all it was the turtle who figured everything out.
        Unable to withstand the geese getting all his praise the turtle cried out, "This was MY IDEA!!!"  and in doing so, let go of the stick and fell to his own demise.

Good thing they didn't have cell phones then...

Instead of having the knowledge that his idea worked, the turtle wanted to possess the idea and have credit for it was well.  Because he could not give or share, he ended up losing it all.

Spirituality is the ability to have without needing to possess. That doesn't mean it is wrong to own something - a story you wrote, a house or a degree - but when the ownership of a thing becomes more important than the actual use or value of it -  you're headed for spiritual trouble.  Jesus seems to give the same message through the gospels.

"If someone asks you for your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic too" (Luke 6:29). Jesus isn't advocating we run around naked  and give away all our clothing, but that we recognize that the value of people is more important than the value of clothing, and we give to those who need. Jesus wants us to have clothes (consider the lilies in the field) but not simply to possess them.

In the big picture, we realize our life is God's given to us to use, to enjoy, to share in this world. Our life is something we have, not something we own or can always control.  In the day to day - our talents, our gifts and our passions are something we have but we have them in order to develop them, share them and make the world better with them. They are not something we own that needs to be hidden away or kept from others.

The spiritual practice of having something, without possessing it, is the ability to celebrate all that is within our grasp and let go of the stress of simply hoarding up more to own.   Now, if we can just get that wax on/wax off thing down -- we'll all be okay.

Spirituality is...Ready To Sail

Cast your fate upon the water
Catch a big wave by the tail
And when a good wind comes your way
Be ready to sail.
"Be Ready To Sail" by Claire Lynch

It's been an interesting week as we watched to see what would happen with the prediction the world was going to come to an end on May 21.  I don't think very many people actually believed the world would come to an end, but it did make a lot of people stop and think, "am I ready for the world to come to an end?"   We all know life on earth is fragile and beautiful and it can change course or end at any moment.  However, things like the rapture prediction make us stop and take stock about what we have done, what we have left undone, and what we have yet to do.

The thing that concerned me most about this apocalyptic prediction - and in fact most evangelism based on eschatology - is that it tends to use fear to fuel its path instead of faith. The message is usually "You better be afraid because if you aren't found worthy, you will be left behind in torment."  The messengers hope by giving you a sense of fear, you will choose to change your life.  A much better message would be one of faith. "Something amazing is going to happen someday, and I think you would like to be a part of it, and until then - you can be a part of the amazing that is happening now - because the "now" is amazing." sounds like a better message to me.

Spirituality responds to the message in its positive stream. Spirituality isn't asking you "Are you willing to burn?" but rather - "Are you ready to sail?"

Don't get the idea, though, that spirituality is simply about floating along life's waves bouncing up and down like an untethered fishing bobber. There are several things that have to be done in order to sail.

You can't just  buy a boat, jump in it and hit the water.  You have to have a boating license and take some safety classes. There are a lot of things to know - everything from how to tie/trim a sail to who has the right of way in the water, to passing etiquette.  Failure to learn before attempting to sail can be dangerous, frustrating or at the very least, funny (in a "laughing at you, not with you" kind of way).

Maybe he shouldn't have skipped the first 30 minutes of class...

Spiritually, we need to learn too. We don't need a license to be spiritual - but the more we read, know and understand about ourselves, our world and our God - the more smooth the sailing will be.  We don't have to "learn it all " (that's not even possible!) but we should always remember that spirituality, like sailing, is a learning journey.

Coracles or Catamarans

A coracle is a rudderless, keel-less one-person boat made of wicker covered by animal skin used for ages in Ireland and Scotland. It doesn't have much directional ability (although some direction can be achieved by paddling, not very much overcomes the force of the current).  Legend has it that Saint Columba, who founded the monestary at Iona, set sail in a coracle and let the waves take him until he ended up in Iona. The journey and the boat are often used as an allegory for sailing on faith.

A catamaran has rudders, keels, and two hulls (instead of a regular mono-hull boat). Catamarans are used for ferries, vacation boats, racing, and transport.  Having 2 hulls makes them more stable, and controllable than regular boats.

Spirituality is able to embody both types of sailing.  Sometimes you do need to "set out" and "see where God takes you."  It may be a new job in an arena you've never worked before, or a mission trip where you can't begin to predict the outcome. There is something faithful and fulfilling about setting out in faith, using the skills you do have, and discovering where you wind up.  An adventurous spirituality is a gift and greatly to be valued.

Other times, you need to rest in the stability of a boat that has a solid foundation, and good bearings. You need a map to show you where you are going and you want to be able to steer your journey as much as possible. When you are ill, you ask for information about the treatment, side-effects and successful outcomes. Being ill makes you vulnerable enough, you need as much guidance and surety as you can find to navigate those waters.  It's not a lack of faith to need to know where you are going, or what a loved one is going to experience. It's simply a time for a spiritual catamaran to pull you safely through.

Coracle or Catamaran?  A healthy full life will have times for both. So learn as much as you can about the seas of world you will be sailing - the ocean of family, the lake of work, the river of life -- and make sure you are picking the best boat for the time at hand.  Then you won't have to be so worried about whether the rapture may come, or illness may strike, or a new person may enter your life - because no matter how rough or calm, dark or clear, choppy or still the water is - you'll do fine on your journey - because you are ready to sail.

Spirituality is...A Blind Date

"Most of us don't know where to start with God.  We've got a lot of excess baggage and "God as Told To Us By" and it can feel an awful lot like a blind date.  The trick with God, just like blind dates, is to suit up and show up. Who knows?  God might turn out to be someone you really like. Somebody you can actually talk to and go salsa dancing with. Somebody who gets your jokes.  The point is that until you try to meet God, you aren't going to know."                                                                                     Some Say God is No Laughing Matter by Julia Cameron

This morning I had a chance to have breakfast with some folks from my church I admire very much. We share a common faith in Christ, a love for all kinds of music, and a fondness for dry, cranky humor. However, in some ways, we are very different. They were raised steady and solid, lived in the same area most or all of their lives, and have an internal sense of who God is that would leads me to believe they have known God since childhood. They are raising their daughter in the church with the same solid sense of God's presence they reflect in their service and dedication.

I, on the other hand, came from a chaotic mixture of people and places where I learned to accept and appreciate different kinds of folks, but I wasn't taught anything about God.  I didn't' meet God until I graduated from high school, and when I did it was definitely a blind date. Fortunately,  that date led to a series of experiences culminating in a life given, a life received and a journey shared.  I wondered today, not for the first time, if my faith, my hope, my joyous relationship with beloved God - would be different had God and I started out sooner or if I began on more solid ground. When I asked God the question, I got a question in return. The conversation went like this:

Me:  God, wouldn't it have been better if I had known you from the start?
God:  What?  And give up our blind date?

There's something courageous, and entrancing, about sitting at the table waiting for God to walk through the door.  Even people who are raised in faith can usually point to a time when they transitioned from the God they were taught about in Sunday School to the God who invited them to dinner years later - the God who laughed with their joy during the appetizer or cried with them over their pain while the entree was being served, the God who encouraged them to order dessert, the God who paid the bill.  Ultimately for anyone to to get to know God, they must commit themselves to experience a blind date, and then take the next step - the trust to open our eyes and see.

"But everything is going so well..."

 The God who made us knows us, and longs to be with us -- so you wouldn't think it would be so hard to open up and reveal our honest thoughts and questions. And yet, particularly for those raised with a God more interested in punishing sinners than embracing souls, it can be the challenge of a lifetime.  If we have set ourselves on a course to have a blind date with God - we clearly desire to be with God -- so you wouldn't think it would be so hard for God to talk to us.  And yet, particularly for people who are too busy or too frightened to hear anything other than what they already believe, God is challenged to get through our defenses or distractions with a great message of grace and gifts.

Social science tells us we get what we expect.  So if we go on a date with God, we will pretty much expect what we were told by others who have shared the table.  Some people expect a God who shows up late, annoyed and instantly blames you for giving bad directions or choosing the wrong table. Some people expect a God who shows up with flowers and candy but spends the whole night wanting to hear you talk about how fantastic God happens to be. Some people bring a list, hoping God will open up a wallet and leave a huge tip without asking too many questions or insisting on a steady relationship. And, sadly, some people wait at the table as the candlelight grows dim, not really expecting God to show up at all.

Spirituality begins as a truly blind date and expects the God who is unexpected.  The God who breaks into a song at the table, or the God who moves the plates and puts down a map to show you some exotic place or unforeseen calling is the God who will show up if we allow it. I think one of the reasons Jesus acts so unpredictably throughout the gospels is to help his disciples understand the daily trust walk of following Christ meant you didn't always know what was going to happen, but you knew God was changing something, someone or some path.

Of course, all lasting relationships must eventually pass through the dating stage and become steady, hopeful, and directional. Yet, anyone who has been in a long term love will tell you that couples who are the strongest still manage to date quite frequently, and enjoy unexpected adventures along with daily bread.  But in order to get to that journey of an honest everyday life with God - no matter if you've known about God forever or for a day - you must be willing to "suit up and show up" for the date.

Would I give up my blind date with God? Never!
Would you?

Spirituality is...Stolen

"Bad artists copy. Good artists steal."
Pablo Picasso

The history of the word "steal" reveals it is an ancient word - entering language before 900, from the Norse word "Stelan"  meaning to "carry off".  Since that time it has come to mean "taking something that doesn't belong to you without expressed permission or compensation."  Have you ever known a more common practice in daily life?  As Picasso noted about the great artists, stealing is something we do almost every day.

We "carry off" or take from all the things around us. We take advice we hear on TV, or at the ice cream shop over a scoop of chocolate with sprinkles, and we use it to make our lives better. We take energy from the warmth of the sun and use it to give us strength to break ground and plant a garden. We take joy from the sheer happiness watching children or grandchildren at play can bring us, and we take pride in the accomplishments of people we love.  Let's face it - we take, and take, and take.  Nowhere is that more true - or wonderful - than in the realm of spirituality.

Spirituality is an openness to the ideas, wisdom and experiences we are exposed to and the ability to discern which of those things can enhance our faith and our life. Things we learn and "steal" to add into our understanding come from many sources. One of the great places for us to steal a lot of faith is stories.

The world is full of amazing stories. In fact, when you think about it - the Bible is a collection of stories (scholars prefer to use the term "narrative" because it sounds more churchy and doesn't upset as many people) - stories of strong women, faithful men, donkeys that talk, and rain that won't stop coming down for 40 days.  When we are in one of those times in our life when it seems like the rain of disappointments, frustrations and garbage never ends - a story about an ark full of hope and a bird that returns with an olive branch can give us lots of comfort.

But we shouldn't seek spiritual stories solely from the bible or those self-help books you find at the Christian bookstore - in fact, only reading from those sources can limit and narrow our vision - which is the opposite of spirituality. Stories from interesting lives can inspire us. Stories of amazing courage can uplift us. Stories of sports triumphs can give us the power to develop our God given skills and stories that make us laugh can heal us.  Watch movies, read novels, and listen to the world around you.

Don't be afraid to learn from fiction.  After all, Picasso also tells us - "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth."

There's a story I love, in the form of a graphic novel (later made into a movie), in which a woman who has been questioning the world around her was tortured for a period of time as a cruel method of removing fear from her life. She emerges from her torture cell dirty, hurt, and more confused than ever . Needing fresh air, she runs to the rooftop to discover its raining. Unafraid, she steps into the rain, reaches to the heavens and lets the water cleanse her body and soul. She says aloud, "God is in the rain."  When something has me spiritually lost or overwhelmed - I remember the freedom of standing in the rain letting it all wash over me and I regain my peace.

"God is in the rain."

 Does it matter whether I get through the rain in my life with the lesson of Noah's ark or the inspiration provided by writer Alan Moore in his novel "V for Vendetta?" No. What matters is that I get through the rain in my life, and God has sent me many stories to guide me through it.

Spirituality breaks open the locked door of "I only know what I am supposed to know" and steals from history, tradition, nature, story, art, and life experience. It allows us not simply to plod down the well scripted path of rules and endurance but to dance in the rain, to find a mission in an uncharted territory, and live a life of adventurous faith. 

So the next time a great inspiration, thought or understanding comes your way:  encounter it, pray about it, discern if God has a place in your life, and if need be - steal it for your very own.

Photo:  from V for Vendetta (c) 2006, Warner Bros Studios.

Spirituality is...Personally Responsible

"There's a blue moon shinin'
When I am reminded of all we've been through
Such a blue moon... shinin'
Does it ever shine down on you?"
       "Once in a Very Blue Moon" by Nanci Griffith

 About a year ago I got a speeding ticket on our little backwoods road. I live in a small county out in the country and the police are very friendly. I had an interesting conversation:

Officer:  Ma'am I clocked you at 49 and the speed limit here is 35.
Me:  I am so sorry. I wasn't paying attention, and I was speeding.
Officer:  I won't write down that you said that. You don't have to admit that.
Me: But, I WAS speeding. 
[after the ticket was written]
Officer: Ma'am - sign this line. BUT, you should know signing this line does not mean you are guilty or admitting anything. You are just signing that you received this ticket.
Me: Is there a line to sign that says I am guilty?
Officer: (confused) Um...no. Just sign here.  Now, if you want to challenge this in court and get it dismissed you can call this number and schedule a date. Now, I know people think if you go to court and the officer doesn't show it will get dismissed but this is a small county circuit court and we all go. Still, you can try it if you want or if you want to challenge this in any way. You might be able to get it dismissed.
Me: I don't want to challenge it. How do I just pay the fine?
Officer: And, if you take this driver's training course, you can get this taken care of and it won't be held against you. It will be like this didn't happen. There's a fee for that - but it will erase the incident.
Me:  I don't want court and I don't want a class. I just want to admit I did this and pay the fine. Is there a way to just pay for my mistake?
Officer: (disappointed)...Yes, um...you can do that online.

I'm sure he drove away thinking I was an idiot, and I left amazed by all the ways we have developed to get out of our responsibilities. I didn't have to admit it, I could challenge it and maybe get by with it, or I could just wipe it away. Too often the finer choices - pay for it, learn from it, and own it are at the bottom of our list.

We don't just do this with traffic tickets and library fines. We do it a lot.  The world is full of reasons and people to blame.

• Well, if I had known someone was going to check that report, I would have turned it in on time. Why didn't anyone tell me the boss was going to read them?
• How was I supposed to keep track of the dentist appointment I made? They should have called me to remind me. They shouldn't charge me for the missed time; it was their fault.
• The teacher isn't very good. She's failing my kid. She doesn't remind him to take his homework home, and puts much more weight on the homework he doesn't do than paying attention to the two assignments he did turn in. I want him out of her class and with someone who will make sure he passes.
• My church believes this....or...My pastor says that......

That last one is particularly concerning to me.  I'm very likely to challenge someone who tells me what their church believes and say, "Is it what your church believes or is it what YOU believe?"  I am perfectly happy to let people believe as they choose -- but I do want them to be able to own their beliefs.

Spirituality is a developed relationship with God secure enough for us to take responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds understanding our relationship with God will continue with grace and second chances. The ability to be honest with yourself and with God empowers you to own your achievements and your mistakes; to learn from them and to change through them. Spirituality is the lens that shows you the refining fire isn't just to punish you - but to purify and strengthen you.

In the book of First Samuel is one of my favorite "out of the way" Bible stories. It's the story of an angry old man named Shimei.

 ⁵ As King David approached Bahurim, a man from the same clan as Saul’s family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. ⁶ He pelted David and all the king’s officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David’s right and left. ⁷ As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! ⁸ The LORD has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”
 ⁹ Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”
 ¹⁰ But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”
 ¹¹ David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. ¹² It may be that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.”
 ¹³ So David and his men continued along the road while Shimei was going along the hillside opposite him, cursing as he went and throwing stones at him and showering him with dirt. ¹⁴ The king and all the people with him arrived at their destination exhausted. And there he refreshed himself.
I Samuel 16:5 - 16:14

The story of Shimei is not often preached about – perhaps a story saying it's okay to curse leaders and throw dirt at them isn’t what most preachers want to encourage from the pulpit.

David, get off my lawn.

The story shows David is ready to take personal responsibility.  David knew Shimei had legitimate complaints. David was a bloody king, he did take Saul’s throne, and he had murdered unjustly. David’s own son was trying to kill him. David knew the only way to relate to God and the people of Israel about this disaster was to be honest. He’s tired of hiding. He’s done with excuses and spin doctors. “I sinned and the result was this bloody war that has split my family and this nation,” David is ready to say. Along comes Shimei who is willing to say it for him. Shimei tells David’s truth in his spew of curses and David is ready to hear it.  He even ponders if maybe God had instructed Shimei to set this into motion.

Notice David doesn't want to forget the past and stop and argue with Shimei about who was at fault. He just wants to own what happened, acknowledge Shimei's right to be upset, and keep moving forward.  My favorite part is verse 14 where it says “When they arrived at their destination – they were exhausted”. I bet! How much cursing and dirt would it take to turn your trip upside down?

Our lives are probably not the action-packed adventure that David's was, but we all have things we need to take responsibility for doing. When we are ready to take ownership of our rights, and our wrongs, we are making the spirit's journey to truth and peace with God (and it is sometimes exhausting!). But forgiveness and future are what await us as we move along.

Spirituality is not a journey of forgive, forget and pretend it never happened. It's a journey of forgive, learn, and go forward.