Spirituality is...Restless

“A few seconds are long enough for a revolutionary idea, a startling communication, a baby’s conception, a wounding insult, or a sudden death. Depending on how we think of them our lives can be infinitely long or ultimately short.”

                           Robert Grudin – Time and the Art of Living 

Our relationship with time has changed since humans first started measuring days with the movement of the sun. We used to use time to mark our lives. Now we live in such a way as to fulfill the requirements of time. We have forgotten time was meant to serve us, and now time has become the master. Aware that time is pushing us around, we tend to push back. 

Think about it.  How many times have you:

•  Stood in front of a microwave oven and said “Hurry?”
•  Refused to see a movie in the theater because it was three hours long?
•  Left a restaurant because there would be a 30 minute wait (only to spend 20 minutes driving in a car to another one?) 
•  Complained because a website took more than five seconds to upload?

Our perspective of time is skewed in favor of the fast, the convenient, and the instantly accessible. It’s indicative or our general feeling of cultural and spiritual restlessness.

This desire for time to speed by and for the things around us to “hurry up” makes the waiting place even more unbearable. Like school children who have stacked our books on top of our desk and slung our backpack over our shoulder, we watch the big hand of the clock inch s-l-o-w-l-y forward, tapping our foot impatiently. We are ready for the next adventure.  Why are we waiting?  We echo the same sentiment as David in the Bible, “How long, Oh Lord?”

David, the anointed King of Israel, spent more time in the waiting place than most people. He didn’t just sit around. For a time he was serving King Saul and learning how to lead an Army, and then he spent some time in caves hiding for his life. He made friends, got married, won battles, and prayed, prayed, prayed. Yet, again and again his prayers increasingly reflected his restlessness to be King.

Hear his words in Psalm 13

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?

       How long will you hide your face from me?

 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

       and every day have sorrow in my heart?

       How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

       Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

       and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

                                                Psalm 13:1-4

We’ve been taught to think of the psalms as song, but they really were prayers that happened to be sung.  In this prayer we see David exasperated and exaggerating.  He sounds like a teenager who’s been grounded for a week begging to be let out early.

How long?

Is it going to be FOREVER?

How long are you going to hide from me?

I’m bored! I’m depressed!

This waiting is killing me!

Let me out or I will die!

All my friends, and even my enemies, are laughing at me.

Sound familiar?  It’s the song of our prayers as we wait for our circumstances to change. It’s the cry of our heart when we are waiting for the pain to stop, or the healing to begin. It’s the hope we send up when we need a job. It’s the complaint we grumble when the lab results won’t be back for a week. It is our restlessness showing we are ready to leave the waiting place.

How can you tell the difference between when God is asking you to wait, and when God has said the time for waiting is over?  The restlessness is usually a good clue. We get restless when it is time for us to make a change in our life. Suddenly, the same things we have done no longer feel good, or right. We spend more time looking out the window or down the track than taking stock of where we’ve come from and what we have. We are gathering our books. We are ready.

I’ve always advised people that the best time to consider quitting your job isn’t when you’ve had a terrible day at work and you realize you don’t like what you’re doing. The best time is when you have a great day at work, and everything goes right, but you still don’t like what you’re doing.  That’s when it’s time to prepare for a change. 

Restless energy is a great tool for spiritual revival. Take all that passion that is building for change and channel it into learning about God, being with God, and preparing to step away from the waiting place into the path that is waiting. What does David end his prayer with?

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love;

       my heart rejoices in your salvation.

 6 I will sing to the LORD,

       for he has been good to me.

                                    Psalm 13:5-6

David uses his time to trust God, and enjoy the fact that he knows God is with him even when it doesn’t always feel that way. David sings and remembers the good times, and good things God has done.

When you are in that place of reconnecting with God and going through a transition of life or love, use some of that time to reflect on the places you and God have been, and the places you and God are yet to go. Remember good times. Remember God’s love. Get ready to feel that love time and time again.

"Will Curse For God"

Reading: 2 Samuel 16:5-14

David, the shepherd boy and first musical therapist, renowned giant killer and psalm writer – and most importantly -- part of the Hebrew lineage of Jesus, had a lot of plusses. But he also had some human and disturbing qualities for a leader. David was known to lie when it was convenient, and then there was the unfortunate Bathsheba incident where he had an affair then used his army to murder her husband. His immediate lineage was the dysfunctional family circus with the son of one wife raping the daughter of another, then David’s son Absalom revolting against him and dying in battle. He was such a bad example and had been such a bloody king (at one point he only agreed to marry Saul’s daughter after her learns he gets to kill 100 Philistines to get her) that God doesn’t allow David to build the temple, but instead passes the task on to Solomon. Yet God loves David, so he softens the blow by saying, “Who are you to build me a house? You cannot build me a house. But, I will build a house for you” and promises him Christ. (2 Samuel 7)

When the Bible says David was a man after God’s own heart, I don’t think it means David was like God. I think it means David was seeking God and God’s love. David had an honest relationship with God (if no one else) and tried in many ways to make God feel honored (fighting for God, treating Jonathan’s crippled son with kindness, refusing to kill Saul because God at one time anointed him, trying to keep the Ark safe). David chased God. Even though his lust and anger often got the best of him, David was a God seeker and a God server in a powerful way. That’s why the strange text in today’s reading doesn’t really surprise me.

The story of Shimei is not often preached about – perhaps a story about throwing dirt and cursing a leader being a tolerated act isn’t what most preachers want to encourage from the pulpit. But it is an amazing story that can inspire us in so many ways. Have you ever heard it preached?

During the bloody war with Absalom as David’s army is traveling, a man named Shimei shows up. He is from Saul’s family and has not forgotten the total devastation of Saul’s clan at David’s hands or the fact he took power from Saul. He begins throwing rocks at David and cursing him and his body guards. Finally after enough cursing and stones, a guard asks David for permission to kill him. David says no. He tells the guard that maybe God has caused the man to curse David, and if David tolerates it, then maybe God will give him a blessing for taking such a nasty cursing. So they walk all the way to their destination with Shimei cursing, and throwing rocks and dirt all over them. My favorite part is verse 14 where it says “When they arrived at their destination – they were exhausted”. I bet! How much cursing and dirt would it take to turn your trip upside down?

Why would David, a King, allow some peasant to throw dirt in his face and curse him? Why would God “cause” somebody to curse someone else?

David was ready for truth

David knew Shimei had legitimate complaints. David was a bloody king, he did take Saul’s throne, and he had murdered unjustly. David’s own son was trying to kill him. David knew the only way to relate to God and the people of Israel about this disaster was to be honest. He’s tired of hiding. He’s done with excuses and spin doctors. “I sinned and the result was this bloody war that has split my family and this nation,” David is ready to say. Along comes Shimei who is willing to say it for him. Shimei tells David’s truth in his spew of curses.

Each of us has people in our life that God has put there to tell us our truth. When we are too tired, unfocused or misdirected that person comes along and “curses” us (hopefully in a more loving and less dirty fashion). Our human tendency is to push them away, argue with them, or silence them somehow. But to seek God - to be after God’s own heart means we should honor them, protect their right to speak and let them talk. The people God sends may not be your parent, sibling or best friend. They may not even have your best interests at heart (Shimei certainly wasn’t working for the “Re-elect King David Committee”) It may be a stranger or someone you needed to forgive or who needed to forgive you. But the Holy Spirit knows truth when it hears it. Don’t silence it. Learn from it.

David is able to let God out of the box

Notice David’s not sure if this is God’s will or not. He tells the guard “IF he is cursing because the Lord told him to…” . Even David can’t confirm if this is God’s will or just some crazy old man who is remotely related to Saul his old enemy, long since gone. But David is not going to take the chance of shutting off God’s words because they come from an unlikely source. The reasoning seems to be “if it’s not God, well – it’s not hurting us too much. If it is God, then we better listen.” David knows God speaks through a variety of means and loves God too much to take the chance of shutting God up.

We make the mistake of putting God in the box of our expectations. There are people who God uses to speak to us – our pastor, parent or friend. We don’t like it when God does the unexpected and sends a song, a police officer, a new person, an old enemy, or a book other than the Bible to reveal God’s message to us. We don’t even bother with “IF it’s God…” we just shut off the source and assume it wasn’t. We are not willing to risk a good cursing, or unique messenger, even if it blesses us.

When I was in college and a new Christian, I went through a period where I only listened to Christian music and I only read Christian books. I decided if God was going to speak to me – God would do it through Amy Grant, not Eddie Van Halen. After some time, my faith began to be tested and Amy Grant’s "El Shaddai" was not helping. I grew in despair and questioned if God really could love me. I was full of sin and self and it didn’t make any sense to think a Holy God would ever get near me, let alone love me or speak to me in a real way. I gave up on God and took the Amy Grant tape out of my player and put Van Halen’s back in. A few days later, still struggling, Van Halen’s “Love Comes Walkin’ In” came out of the speakers. This secular song had words I had been waiting to hear…

“and then you sense a change
nothin' feels the same
all your dreams are strange
love comes walkin' in”

The Holy Spirit jumped up and down in my heart – telling me God’s love had made a change in me, I wasn’t the same and God had walked into my life to stay. I didn’t even bother with “If this is God…” because I knew it was. It didn't make any sense, but I knew the truth. I still listened to Amy Grant on occasion, but I knew the power of God to speak was not limited to A&M Records and the Baptist Book Store. David knew that too. He didn’t need the prophet Nathan – He was willing to hear God through any one.

David knows God doesn’t make sense

Theologians have asked for centuries – why would God pick David to enthrone the line of Christ? However, the Bible has always seemed to favor stories about flawed people doing the Holy God’s finest work. There’s no point in dissecting it. God simply doesn’t make sense.

David knew it. The youngest of the brothers is picked to be king. A shepherd boy kills a giant. A musician becomes a warrior. An anointed king hides in caves. A prayerful man has an illicit love affair. The protector of the Ark isn’t allowed to build its temple. David could have told you point blank – God doesn’t make our kind of sense. So, why not have an old man throwing dirt and stones to curse him at God’s behest? It’s the kind of thing God might do.

Pierre Bayle was a French Calvinist who lived between 1650 and 1705. He wrote an important theological document called the “Historical and Critical Dictionary” in which he spoke of Christian tolerance. He said God could not be explained in terms of human reason, and faith must be founded on the concept that God is mysterious and unpredictable. His main example was God’s love for King David. He said David was “a criminal, a murderer, a rapist, an adulterer, and adored by God.” To any human, this was clearly inappropriate and not rational. And yet it was the way of God. He went on to argue that God is so creative and beyond our logic that a Christian cannot truly know the mind, ways or plan of God. All Christians can know is that they love God and are called to live out that relationship in love. He said we are not to judge one another, because clearly through David God shows God can love and use whomever God chooses, no matter what we think.

It’s hard to imagine the ways God might speak to us, or the people God might actually love. What if we chose to listen to these ways? What if God sends someone to curse us? What if we listen to these people? Like David’s army, at the end of our journey we would be exhausted! But, what an amazing, honest trip we would have had – walking like David, seeking after God’s own heart.